A more P.C. Santa?!?

So I heard on the news that certain people are calling for a more politically correct Santa.

It seems that people in Australia think Santa's trademark "Ho-Ho-Ho" may be offensive to some women. He is now being asked to say "Ha-Ha-Ha".

Give me a break!

Also here in the U.S. people are concerned about the "image" Santa portrays. They are concerned what his lack of physical activity, cookie and milk diet, and large belly maybe saying to our youth.

Are you kidding me?!? Let's look into this... Santa travels something like 111 million miles in one night. He is up and down 223 million chimneys - how's that for lack of physical activity. No wonder the guy takes 364 days of PTO each year. And as far as the diet - I think he needs all the sugar he can get to accomplish his task. I think I would rather have a Santa hopped up on sugar instead of some crackhead elf comin' down my chimney. Or is that why he is always wiping his nose, hmmm.

I can live with the above mentioned I just can't believe no one has raised a concern about his "personal" habits. First off what's with all the alias'? Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Santa Claus, Pere Noel, Babbo Natale, Hagios Nikolaos...

He spends alot of time with hundreds of elves, which by the way look exactly like little kids. Honest - I saw the movie. He keeps a list of kids AND checks it twice. He hangs out in malls -invites little kids to sit on his lap by luring them with candy. And if that doesn't freak you out he sees you when your sleeping and knows when you're awake... think about it.

And did you know his wife, Mrs. Claus, was not even "created" until 1889? Sounds like a cover...

He's like an old, white Michael Jackson. Michael had Bubbles - Santa had Rudolph. Both never really age, and both live in this place children dream of.

I mean weren't these the same things the state of CA had on M.J.? Maybe they should check into the home life of one Kris Kringle...

Ahhh, crap. He knows when I've been bad...

Sorry Santa.