Hey, it's almost Christmas!

Just to forewarn everyone I will not refer to it as the Holiday Season, Holiday songs, the Holiday tree, or Holiday cookies…mmm, I want a cookie. After all it is CHRISTMAS!

Remember Christmas when you were a kid and couldn’t wait to open your presents. That Christmas tree always taunted me. “Look at me, look at me. I got presents you got NOTHIN'!” If my parents would have ponied up the dough for a real tree I would have infested it with bark beetles. It was such a bully! I would beg, cry, scream, hold my breath until I passed out in hopes my parents will would cave. Once when I was nine I think I even suffered a mild aneurism. Well, I am still like that. I have been bugging my wife for weeks. She says “Oh hunny, but what will you open Christmas morning?” Hello, we are employed adults! We can go buy more!

Christmas was always big in our house, but not for reasons you would think. Our house received a total transformation every year. Several hundred man hours went into the decorating of our home – which would have been fine if we started in August. No my family is what some might call "procrastinators". I always thought it was a law of physics or something that Christmas lights could not be hung on your house until the mercury dropped to ten below zero. And as far as inside… our house seemed like it was literally gutted of all “everyday” interior and was replaced by “Christmas” interior. My mom had boxes and boxes of this stuff. We went through more boxes during Christmas than FedEx, UPS, and the Postal Service ever dreamed of. I swear one year Macy’s sued us because my mom had a monopoly on Christmas decoration and they were afraid they would have to cancel their parade.

I have SO many “favorite” presents from childhood. One Christmas I got super hero action figures – they were the size of Barbie. There was Spider- man, Batman, Robin, Incredible Hulk, Aqua-man, and Superman. They came with an RV called a mobile crime lab, and Spider-man’s car. I have no idea whatever happened to them. I recently saw some like them sell on an online auction site. Let’s just put it this way – if I still had them I could buy Wyoming. Montana, and the Dakotas.

I also got enough Star Wars toys growing up I am pretty sure my parents secured Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, and Carrie Fisher’s great grandkids future.

I remember one Christmas though that our family was very financially blessed. My parents had money to buy us what seemed to be hundreds of presents (the tree was REALLY mean that year). In order to distract from my pleading my mom prayed and received revelation. She would “randomly number” ALL the presents, and keep a secret list of what number went to whom. This way I would not know which ones were mine, hence no begging. I wish she would have sought the same revelation when Christmas morning showed up and she had lost her list! Hard tellin’ what my sister, Jasi, or myself would be opening that morning… man boys are mean to you when you’re wearing Rainbow-Brite panties. Oh yeah, and Jasi I want my G. I. Joe back!