Shannon and Christmas...

My wife is a Christmas freak. She gets it from her dad I think. Maybe it’s genetic. Woman get the love of Christmas from their father’ side of the family. Men get male pattern baldness from their mother’s side. I swear when I go to the store in August and see Christmas stuff out it is because my wife and her father have threatened the manager. In our house we watched Elf on the 4th of July.

My wife’s family loves Christmas carols. Growing up I really thought Christmas Carolers were a myth. You know like Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, or Brit and K-Fed’s happy marriage. People always talk about them, no one can ever prove them though. But I now know carolers do exist. My wife and her family do this every year – always have I guess. Imagine them bundled up like Han Solo on the planet Hoth, singing their little hearts out for their neighbors – in Hawaii!

I’m not much into Christmas carols. To me most make NO sense what-so-ever. I mean think about it, really think about it. The Twelve Days of Christmas – what kinda song is that. First off if you do know the words, you have way too much time on your hands. But that’s a good thing ‘cause it takes at least an hours to sing it, and if you don’t know the words – well, there’s no hope for ya. Did you realize that your “true love” gives you something like 184 birds for Christmas. I mean what am I gonna do with twelve partridges in their pear trees. Hunny, honestly, buy me a Nintendo Wii. Heck, buy me twelve of them and we can sell them on Ebay. We are gonna need the money to feed all those dang birds! Three French hens… I thought after 9/11 we decided to call them “freedom” hens. Four calling birds. Who are they calling? Is it off-peak hours? FIVE golden rings… you are seriously pressuring me here. Is your biological clock ticking? Eight maids a milking – is there something I miss understood about birds? Nine ladies dancing......................sorry I was visualizing that one. Whoops, is my face red! Ten lords a leaping. Why do you think I would want that? I guess we could rent an RV and take them and the dancing ladies to the Cheerleader Nationals in Florida - maybe make a workout video or something. Eleven piper piping. Once again, give me something like eleven plumbers plumbing. We need to pay for the birds! And last but not least – twelve drummers drumming. Yeah that should help with my insomnia...

Honestly though thanks to everyone for their love and friendship this year. I really do appreciate you all and all you do. I hope your holiday is full of the happiness. Merry Christmas and have a joyous new year!