Semi-formal?!?

I recently found out my wife’s Christmas party for her work was going to be semi-formal. I vaguely remember this term used with school dances, but never a party. I am not a big fan of social gatherings. For me to go to this is a real stretch of my comfort zone, and then to have “semi-formal” thrown into the mix…

Now two of my wife’s greatest passions in life are parties and Christmas. Needless to say she is beside herself in anticipation of her work Christmas party. I, myself, well I am not so enthused. I don’t know these people and she sees them everyday. What is the big deal? I don’t care to meet Muff and Biffs’ children. I could care less how Carl in I.T. is having an affair with Shelia from Accounting. And I really don’t want to see Rick from A.R. get drunk again and hit on anything with a pulse. But I love my wife and I will support her.

With that being said our conversation went down like this:

“Hunny, don’t forget my work party next week.”

“Yeah, yeah… I know…”

“Oh, and it is semi-formal.”

“Huh?”

“Semi-formal.”

“You mean like wear a belt and tuck my t-shirt in…semi-formal.”

With that my wife walks into our closet and a few seconds later returns to the room.

“I think you should wear this” she says while holding a shirt and a tie.

What, where did that come from? I have those in there? I thought.

I then peered into the closet. Maybe there is a secret porthole to the mall or something in there I never knew about.

“Holy crap mom – I don’t have class pictures today…” I replied sarcastically.

“You would look so handsome.”

Visions of my wife spitting on a Kleenex and washing my face in front of all her work friends just raced through my head.

“Where did that come from?” I asked

“I bought it at the mall while I was buying my dress” she replied

“How much did all that cost?!?”

“How much did your new hot rod cost…?”

Needless to say - will I go to the party – yes. Will I wear the outfit – yes. Will I like it – I plead the 5th.