So I know this guy who decided to take up beekeeping this year. He has a couple of "hives" and bought some bees on line. So today I asked him how it was going with the hive and our conversation went a little something like this:
"How's the bee thing going?" I asked
"Not too bad" he replied
"Good" I said
"Yeah, it was kind of crazy the other day. My sister went out to the hive and said there were a couple of bees 'wrestling'..."
"Huh, really?"
"Yeah."
"Didn't you say you imported the bees?"
"Yeah, they're Italian bees."
"Oh, you know what it was... We live in Utah. It was probably a couple of Mormon bees."
"Mormon bees?"
"Yeah, they probably showed up on the porch to your hive. Knocked on the door and your Italian bees had them in a head lock sayin 'We don't want your bible!' Tell your sister if she sees them again to check if they have little ties on."
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Just a bunch of parts...
I recently had a conversation with a very pregnant woman. She was talking about her baby and how big the doctors believed it was growing inside her. They had some belief that her child may be big enough that she might not be able to deliver it naturally. No worries though I soon eased her mind:
"... and they just don't think I am going to be able to deliver naturally."
"Why is that?"
"Because they believe my baby might be over 10 lbs and I am a very petit build."
"Well it's not like the kid comes out all at once."
"Oh I know you have to push them out over serveral tries."
"Yeah I think I would be worried about getting all the parts out. Not how much they all weigh."
"All the parts out?"
"Yeah, the parts... kinda like Mr. Potato Head."
"Huh?"
"Think about it. The dr always says I see a head... oh and there's an arm... and I got a leg... oh and a foot... one more push... there ya go... and... it's a boy."
She looked at me puzzled.
"If the baby didn't come out in parts why didn't he know what you had until the very end?" I asked
She got a little queezy look to her face.
"I am pretty sure that's why they put a sheet over you down there too. Just incase it is a newer nurse and it takes her a minute for final assembly. Think about it."
"Uh - I'm uh gonna go now..."
"Hope I could help!"
"... and they just don't think I am going to be able to deliver naturally."
"Why is that?"
"Because they believe my baby might be over 10 lbs and I am a very petit build."
"Well it's not like the kid comes out all at once."
"Oh I know you have to push them out over serveral tries."
"Yeah I think I would be worried about getting all the parts out. Not how much they all weigh."
"All the parts out?"
"Yeah, the parts... kinda like Mr. Potato Head."
"Huh?"
"Think about it. The dr always says I see a head... oh and there's an arm... and I got a leg... oh and a foot... one more push... there ya go... and... it's a boy."
She looked at me puzzled.
"If the baby didn't come out in parts why didn't he know what you had until the very end?" I asked
She got a little queezy look to her face.
"I am pretty sure that's why they put a sheet over you down there too. Just incase it is a newer nurse and it takes her a minute for final assembly. Think about it."
"Uh - I'm uh gonna go now..."
"Hope I could help!"
Warning...
I like to mess with people's heads. I should have warned you I have no formal psychological training. I'm not a mean person - sometimes you just make it too easy. I appologize if I have caused you to be institutionalized recently...
Friday, July 4, 2008
Independence...
O! say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming.
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming.
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
O! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: 'In God is our trust.'
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
What a great piece of poetry. No wonder it was adopted as our national anthem.
I love our country. I took this picture a couple of years ago. I thought the flag and the sky was amazing...
John Adams declared, "The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epocha in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forevermore." Mr. Adams made this statement, because Congress had voted on July 2 to declare independence from Great Britain. The United States Declaration of Independence was then adopted by the Continental Congress on July 4 - hence the two day difference.
Happy Independence Day everyone. Have a safe and enjoyable weekend!
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming.
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming.
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
O! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: 'In God is our trust.'
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
What a great piece of poetry. No wonder it was adopted as our national anthem.
I love our country. I took this picture a couple of years ago. I thought the flag and the sky was amazing...
John Adams declared, "The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epocha in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forevermore." Mr. Adams made this statement, because Congress had voted on July 2 to declare independence from Great Britain. The United States Declaration of Independence was then adopted by the Continental Congress on July 4 - hence the two day difference.
Happy Independence Day everyone. Have a safe and enjoyable weekend!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Dream push / shop truck of the week...
Yes, another truck. I warned you I tend to be drawn to them.
I have always had a fetish for the 1957 - 1960 Ford F100s. I think most people think they are just so ugly that it makes them that much appealing to me. I fell in love with Colby Martin's 1958 Ford the first time I saw it. It was just so out of the norm at the time of what people were building. To this day I still dig the satin black paint, puke green wheels wrapped in wide whites, and the white vinyl interior. I like this truck SO much I own a T-shirt with it's picture! Here is a picture of it, with Jimmy Shine's roadster, doing what it was built to do on the salt a few years back...
I have always had a fetish for the 1957 - 1960 Ford F100s. I think most people think they are just so ugly that it makes them that much appealing to me. I fell in love with Colby Martin's 1958 Ford the first time I saw it. It was just so out of the norm at the time of what people were building. To this day I still dig the satin black paint, puke green wheels wrapped in wide whites, and the white vinyl interior. I like this truck SO much I own a T-shirt with it's picture! Here is a picture of it, with Jimmy Shine's roadster, doing what it was built to do on the salt a few years back...
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Down to 1000'...
NHRA shortens race distance for Top Fuel and Funny Car classes to 1,000 feet as an interim safety measure
7/2/2008
As the investigation continues into the tragic accident that took the life of driver Scott Kalitta, NHRA has announced that beginning at the Mopar Mile High Nationals in Denver, Colo., both the Top Fuel and Funny Car classes will race to 1,000 feet instead of the traditional 1,320 feet or one-quarter mile. This is an interim step that is being taken while NHRA continues to analyze and determine whether changes should be made to build upon the sport's long standing safety record, given the inherent risks and ever-present dangers associated with the sport.
This interim change was made by NHRA in collaboration with professional race teams. NHRA believes that racing the Top Fuel and Funny Car classes to 1,000 feet will allow NHRA and the racing community time to evaluate, analyze and implement potential changes based on the safety initiatives outlined last week.
With the change, fans will still be able to enjoy the sights, sounds and thrill of NHRA nitro racing with speeds around 300 mph and quick elapsed times to 1,000 feet.
Over the years, NHRA has implemented many initiatives to enhance safety including measures to limit speeds from increasing, personal protective gear, vehicle improvements, and track enhancements such as sand traps, catch nets and concrete barriers the entire length of the drag strip.
In the wake of the tragic series of events that took Kalitta's life, the following technical issues are currently under investigation: 1) what might be done to reduce engine failures; 2) parachute mounting techniques and materials as well as identifying a parachute material that could be more fire resistant; 3) exploring whether there is a way to increase brake efficiency when cars lose downforce due to the loss of the body; 4) analyzing additional methods that might be developed at the top end of the race track to help arrest runaway vehicles; 5) considering whether current speeds should be further limited or reduced to potentially improve safety.
“The board members of the Professional Racers Owners Organization (PRO) wholeheartedly and unanimously support this decision,” said its president Kenny Bernstein. “We want to thank NHRA for listening to our input and suggestions to incorporate these changes. It is not lost on any of us that this constitutes a change in our history of running a quarter-mile, but it's the most immediate adjustment we can make in the interest of safety which is foremost on everyone's mind. This may be a temporary change and we recognize it is not the total answer. We will continue to work hand in hand with NHRA to evaluate other methods of making Top Fuel and Funny Car competition safer so that we might return to our quarter-mile racing standard. We also want to thank Connie Kalitta for his invaluable input. He has been a rock through these difficult times.”
7/2/2008
As the investigation continues into the tragic accident that took the life of driver Scott Kalitta, NHRA has announced that beginning at the Mopar Mile High Nationals in Denver, Colo., both the Top Fuel and Funny Car classes will race to 1,000 feet instead of the traditional 1,320 feet or one-quarter mile. This is an interim step that is being taken while NHRA continues to analyze and determine whether changes should be made to build upon the sport's long standing safety record, given the inherent risks and ever-present dangers associated with the sport.
This interim change was made by NHRA in collaboration with professional race teams. NHRA believes that racing the Top Fuel and Funny Car classes to 1,000 feet will allow NHRA and the racing community time to evaluate, analyze and implement potential changes based on the safety initiatives outlined last week.
With the change, fans will still be able to enjoy the sights, sounds and thrill of NHRA nitro racing with speeds around 300 mph and quick elapsed times to 1,000 feet.
Over the years, NHRA has implemented many initiatives to enhance safety including measures to limit speeds from increasing, personal protective gear, vehicle improvements, and track enhancements such as sand traps, catch nets and concrete barriers the entire length of the drag strip.
In the wake of the tragic series of events that took Kalitta's life, the following technical issues are currently under investigation: 1) what might be done to reduce engine failures; 2) parachute mounting techniques and materials as well as identifying a parachute material that could be more fire resistant; 3) exploring whether there is a way to increase brake efficiency when cars lose downforce due to the loss of the body; 4) analyzing additional methods that might be developed at the top end of the race track to help arrest runaway vehicles; 5) considering whether current speeds should be further limited or reduced to potentially improve safety.
“The board members of the Professional Racers Owners Organization (PRO) wholeheartedly and unanimously support this decision,” said its president Kenny Bernstein. “We want to thank NHRA for listening to our input and suggestions to incorporate these changes. It is not lost on any of us that this constitutes a change in our history of running a quarter-mile, but it's the most immediate adjustment we can make in the interest of safety which is foremost on everyone's mind. This may be a temporary change and we recognize it is not the total answer. We will continue to work hand in hand with NHRA to evaluate other methods of making Top Fuel and Funny Car competition safer so that we might return to our quarter-mile racing standard. We also want to thank Connie Kalitta for his invaluable input. He has been a rock through these difficult times.”
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