Two different worlds...

Here’s the big difference between men and women at the age when everyone’s looking for action.

Take two equally equipped ’68 Roadrunners, with the 440 Magnum-ah, what the heck, go for the Hemi with the décor package-vinyl top. The rally wheels with custom rims, and the air-grabber system. Put four girls in one, four guys in the other. You send them both out to get a six pack of beer, and tell them to be back by midnight.

The girls will probably be back by eleven o’clock. One beer is half empty and warm, with lipstick on the rim. The car’s cleaner than when you left it, it smells like a mix of Chanel No. 5 and gossip. Everyone’s chatting happily and planning how to get together soon for dinner.

The guys-if they ever come back-one is missing, there’s blood everywhere, no one’s talking. The beer’s gone, a second six-pack is also empty, some liquor bottles are in the back seat, there are spent shell casings on the floor, butt prints are all over the windows, a tire is flat, one fender’s all dented, the muffler’s hanging off, and a big piece of animal is strapped on the hood.

Two different worlds.

- Tim Allen

Thanksgiving's Top 10...

If you did not have Thanksgiving with us yesterday here are the Top 10 best things you missed:

10. Me having a cold.
9. Drug bust at the neighbors.
8. Erin lusting for Edward.
7. Aidan being covered in Cool Whip.
6. Sharon’s beans! Mmmm, bacon grease...
5. Erin singing & Shannon playing guitar.
4. Owen singing “Baby You Can Drive My Car”.
3. Owen's breakdancing.
2. Stuffing!

And the #1 thing you missed if you did not have Thanksgiving with us.

1. “Chancho, I need to borrow some sweats.”

Dream car of the week...

In 1916 Harry Miller builds a cutting edge racecar coined the Golden Submarine:



Fast forward almost a century later and Dan Webb has put a modern spin on this classic masterpiece. Dan's car is a handbuilt aluminum bodied, minus the grill shell, stunner featuring a 400 HP alcohol burning 4 cylinder Ford motor which will easily push this 1,000 lbs car into the triple digits.

Dan Webb's Golden sub:

Pass the stuffing...

My grandmother was the Thanksgiving queen. It was the holiday that I think she enjoyed the most - even more so than Christmas. I know some people in my life are going to read this so please don't be offended, but no one, I repeat no one has ever out done Thanksgiving dinner at my Grandma Richard's house. Even though people helped out it was alway the best when at her house.

Let's start with the turkey. Grandma never had just a turkey. These things were huge! A real Arnold Schwarzenturkey. Sixty two pounds of mouth watering, butter basted, sage rubbed, melt in your mouth, oven roasted bird. This was of course filled with the best stuffing. Those little bits of bread, seasoned with love, were simply to die for.

There was potatoes - never made from a box. Oh no, peeled, boiled, and mashed by hand. Enriched with real butter, milk, and pepper.

And gravy made from starch, an assortment of spices, and that little bag of "parts" that not a lot of people know what to do with.

Oh and golden corn on the cob smothered in butter and sprinkled with salt.

Yams, sweet potatoes, and cranberry sauce.

Green bean casserole with a crunchy top, broccoli casserole loaded up with cheese and rice, potatoes au gratin, and casseroles that I am not even sure what was in them.

There was salads with lettuce and eleven types of dressing. Salads with fruit and nuts.

Veggie trays with carrots, celery, radishes, black olives, green olives, dill pickles, sweet pickles, and homemade dip.

Trays of mixed nuts and pretzel sticks.

Bowls of Chex mix. Bowls of chips. Bowls of dip.

Hot dinner rolls - right out of the oven. And fresh baked breads cooling on white towels.

Green Jell-O with pear slices and Cool Whip.

Twenty seven different pies! Apple, pumpkin, blueberry, cherry, pecan, boysenberry, mixed berry, cheesecake, chocolate cheesecake, minced meat...

There was cookies and candies. Ice cream and cakes.

Juices, sodas, punches, and cider.

And grandma would always start the meal with a prayer of thanks offered up in Norwegian. Quickly followed by someone yelling "dig in!" The sounds of serving utensils clanging on platters. Grunting and pointing. Mmmming and oooohing filled the air. The sound of the football game on the TV radiated from the living room. Man, would we eat.

I remember one year in particular, when I was about ten years old, I ate so much I went into a turkey induced coma, honest. I woke up sometime in January and had missed my whole Christmas vacation! I woke up and all my family was there around me as I laid in bed. I had no idea what had happened - a real Wizard of Oz moment. And as I came to I clearly remember turning toward my Uncle John and saying "Pass the stuffing..."

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Thanksgiving week...

King of Queens style:

My new Monday night fav...

Well since Rules of Engagement has not been on for awhile The Big Bang Theory has taken the top seat as my Monday night must see. If you have not watched the show I highly recommend it. It is a show about 20-something male prodigies /geniuses and their blonde female neighbor.







And on a side note I have hears that Rules of Engagement will be back after the first of the year!

Monday FREE ad...

FREE: I have one package of new #2 pencils. These have never been used, but I have bit all of the erasers off - I know, but it's a habit. These would be a perfect gift for someone like my ex-wife or boss who never makes a mistake.

As always these are FREE so you will need to pick them up. Leave me a comment if interested.

15 seconds of fame...

So a couple of years ago I was asked to help out in the production of a music video. It was a mini-movie video for a local band. It ran a little over 7 minutes. Half being just a story. I found the video and posted it below from youtube.

All you will see of me, in a round about way, in the video is the art work of the "leading man" - Conrad. They requested the prop / art to be Napoleon Dynamite inspired and several pieces were drawn for just the couple of scenes you see it in.

It was fun and like nothing I ever draw. It is best viewed around 4:04. Hope you enjoy:

45 years...

Kind of weird I have been up for a couple of hours already today and haven't heard a thing:



The assassination of John F. Kennedy, the thirty-fifth President of the United States, took place on Friday, November 22, 1963, in Dallas, Texas, USA at 12:30 p.m. CST. John F. Kennedy was fatally wounded by gunshots while riding with his wife Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy in a Presidential motorcade.

This was a couple of years before my time, but it affected a whole generation. I have heard people relive it for years. Just thought it was strange I haven't heard about it this year...

Dream car of the week...

Shop trucks, push trucks, and support vehicles. Give me something with a logo on the door and a push bumper on the front - I think they're just plain cool:

My wife "Paris"...

My wife is becoming somewhat of a socialite. Why just this week she will have ventured to two concerts, weeknight parties, and movie premieres. She has dined out several times. Last Saturday she was seen in a black SUV with an unidentified blonde female. I'm sure I will be able to tell who it is when the photo shows up in the tabloids...

I even heard her say "Ooo, that's hot" earlier - she was biting into her pizza, but she said it!

If only she could harness this new power for good, instead of evil.

Monday FREE ad...

FREE: One pair of slightly used binoculars. The neighbors have firgured out what I am doing and these need to go ASAP. Since these are free you will need to pick-up. Leave me a comment if interested.

New weekly post...

To go along with my weekly "Dream Car" posts I will also list some free ads on Mondays. Check back often 'cause my junk just might be your treasure.

The production Batmobile...

The Bugatti Veyron - man, I would love to drive this car:



The clip is 9 minutes long, but well worth it.

The power of blonde...

A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says that six Brazilian men have died in a skydiving accident.

The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing ‘That’s horrible.’

Confused, he says, ‘Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is that risk involved.’

After a few minutes the blonde, still sobbing, says, ‘So how many zeros are in a Brazilian?’

Dream car of the week...

Girls have cool cars too. If you don't believe me just take a look at Tiffany Collins '60s show rod inspired 1927 Chevy modified:

Freedom isn't free...

Final Inspection

The soldier stood and faced God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining.
Just as brightly as his brass.

"Step forward now,soldier.
How shall I deal with you ?
Have you always turned the other cheek ?
To My Church have you been true ?"

The officer squared his shoulders and said,
"No,Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep....
Though I worked a lot of overtime.
When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes,God, forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place,
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here,Lord.
It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't,I'll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.
As the soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.

"Step forward now,soldier
You've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven"s streets,
You've done your time in Hell."

- Author Unknown

Overdrive '08...

So my wife's work is giving the following away at their convention this year. I think it is cool, but I'm not too hip on the graphics. I volunteered to help out next year. :)

An old flame...

So back eight years ago, or so, Chrysler introduced the PT Cruiser. It was marketed as having "retro styling", and was a hit with the public. I decided to buy one and expound on that "retro" idea Chrysler was pushing. After buying one I immediately called my buddy Randy, and after a long weekend this was the result of our collaboration:



I soon sold the little thing, and really haven't thought a lot about it since. That was until a couple of days ago when I was driving on the 201. I looked into the rearview and it was coming up right behind me! I recognized it right away!

You know I do get excited about cars, but it is always more exciting when I see one is my own - well an old one anyway. Or a current one - especially if it should be home in the garage...

I kept turning around quickly in my seat. I kinda bounced up and down. I waved. I honked. I made a motion with my fist. I flashed my lights. I swerved into the other lanes a few times, and I may have even hit a small animal.

Now that I think about it I'm lucky I didn't get shot. Next time you think someone might be suffering from road rage - maybe they just used to own your car!

Separation of, well you know, and State...

Since​ the Pledg​e of Alleg​iance​,​ and The Lord'​s Praye​r are not allow​ed in most publi​c schoo​ls anymo​re, becau​se the word '​God'​ is menti​oned a student in Arizo​na wrote​ this NEW Schoo​l Praye​r :

Now I sit me down in schoo​l
Where​ prayi​ng is again​st the rule
For this great​ natio​n under​ God
Finds​ menti​on of Him very odd.
If Scrip​ture now the class​ recit​es,​
It viola​tes the Bill of Right​s.​
And anyti​me my head I bow
Becom​es a Feder​al matte​r now.
Our hair can be purpl​e,​ orang​e or green​,​
That'​s no offen​se;​ it's a freed​om scene​.​
The law is speci​fic,​ the law is preci​se.​
Praye​rs spoke​n aloud​ are a serio​us vice.​
For prayi​ng in a publi​c hall
Might​ offen​d someo​ne with no faith​ at all.
In silen​ce alone​ we must medit​ate,​
God'​s name is prohi​bited​ by the state​.​.​.​
We'​re allow​ed to cuss and dress​ like freak​s,​
And pierc​e our noses​,​ tongu​es and cheek​s.​
They'​ve outla​wed guns,​ but FIRST​ the Bible​.​
To quote​ the Good Book makes​ me liabl​e.​
We can elect​ a pregn​ant Senio​r Queen​,​
And the '​unwed​ daddy​,​'​ our Senio​r King.​
It's '​inapp​ropri​ate'​ to teach​ right​ from wrong​,​
We'​re taugh​t that such '​judgm​ents'​ do not belon​g.​
We can get our condo​ms and birth​ contr​ols,​
Study​ witch​craft​,​ vampi​res and totem​ poles​.​
But the Ten Comma​ndmen​ts are not allow​ed,​
No word of God must reach​ this crowd​.​
It's scary​ here I must confe​ss,​
When chaos​ reign​s the schoo​l'​s a mess.​
So, Lord,​ this silen​t plea I make:​
Shoul​d I be shot;​ My soul pleas​e take!​
Amen

Dream truck of the week...

I've liked this truck for years. First saw it on the carnut.com site. Everyone needs a "beater".

Some guys just like to flaunt it...

Day O' Elect...

Well it is finally here - Election Day. Personally I am glad to see it. I have had some real issues with it this time around.

First of all why have these guys been campaigning for almost two years - yeah it has been that long.

Second, don't they have anything else to do? Oh yeah, their jobs! Don't forget they are U.S. Congressmen. Who's been doing those duties all of this time? I know they are still collecting that paycheck. And this makes me wonder who is going to lead the country in two years they campaign for their second term...

Third, why have these two candidates spent so much time on David Letterman, Jay Leno, Saturday Night Live, etc making fun of each other and themselves? Is "Commander and Chief" just not that serious of title?

Fourth, I am not to sure what the "issues" even are anymore.Do you know? Can you please tell me? I mean two years ago when this all started it was the war in Iraq, then the war in Afghanistan, the the hunt for Bin Laden, then Britney and K-Fed's divorce, taxes, global warming, dependance on foreign oil, alternative fuel sources, McCain's health, Obama's minister, Obama's alledged link to terrorist, the home crisis, Palin's inquiry, and now the economy. Seriously do you remember anyone's stance on these? Do they even remember them?

I say we take a little lesson from MTV. One month before a new President enters office we ask for volunteers / nominees / candidates and go "Celebrity Death-match" - winner take all...

Speedweek 2009...

11/01/08: At the meeting last night, the BNI board voted to change the SW 2009 dates to Aug 8 - 14, with inspections starting on Aug. 7th.
We regret having to do this since some folks have already made reservations, however the major hotels in Wendover have notified us they had a considerable gambling income loss during Speedweek 2008 and credit this loss to the attempt they made to accommodate the Speedweek attendees. They have stated that they can no longer afford to curtail their "Special programs" during Speedweek. While we encouraged folks to "Stay out until Sunday" during SW 2008, it seems the town (and hotels) were still full or racers and fans anyway. Since "Weekend rooms" are the problem, it was felt that by adjusting the dates to encompass only one weekend, it will make it a little easier on the racers to find rooms. Roy Creel

Burnin' up that 1/4 mile...

Hope you didn't forget...

It's that time of year again. Unless you're in AZ or something...