It's all in the name...

I recently read about a study where researchers determined the name a child is given, and grows up with, can directly influence the person they become as an adult. I mean if you name your kid Blade he will probably found a local chapter for the Hell’s Angels, but name the same kid Corky and he may never know the touch of a woman…

My parents gave me a normal, fairly common name. I haven’t had any world changing accomplishments in my life. Never shook hands with a president. I’m not filthy rich. I’ve been married a couple of time. Maybe that has to do with the not rich thing more than my name, hmmm…

Oh yeah - the study. After reading the article I began thinking about people I had met and their names. I wonder what some of them are doing now.

Lets see there was:

Fooch – I knew him in elementary school. Can’t remember his last name, and I am sure to this day no one knows it. He is a real life Kramer.

Ben Wilde – did his parents have some kind of foresight into his future?

Penny Nichols – one cent, five cents.

Key Chevelle – her dad was a car nut.

Hunter & Trapper – oh, how cute for brothers. Their mom thought so.

Stormy Dawn – maybe it was that “Hey, I’m 1/32 Cherokee” thing you always hear people say.

Candi Cane – She’s probably an exotic dancer or porn star.

Moonbeam Dover – Clever, sounds like moon beamed over. I assume she lives in the top of a Redwood tree somewhere in Humboldt County California now.

Benjamin Dover – Little brother to the “Moonbeam”. Everyone called him Ben.

Kris Krost – I bet she married some guy named Oliver Owt, and now goes by Kris Krost – Owt.

Boot Hill – honest.

Pepsee Kohler – wah-wah-wa…

Wow, parents come up with some weird names for kids. Luckily for the Mrs., and our children, I am nothing like that. I just wanna name our daughter Rhoda Harlee, and if it’s a boy – Darwin Duncan Shane. Say that in your best Wayne Newton voice!

The answer is...

Wow, who would have thought that life decision between husband and wife would be so difficult. I love my wife more than anything, but we have a real issue when it comes to the big choices. Ok, ok – when I say big I don’t mean “hey, hunny should we start that family tonight” or “how do you feel we should vote on proposition 184 in the upcoming election” or “do you think we should paint the ceiling beige”.

It’s hard to explain, but here is our typical conversation:

6:00 PM

“How was your day?”

“I don’t know. How was yours?”

“Same as always.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“Wanna do something tonight?”

“I don’t know. Do you want to?”

“I don’t care… it’s up to you.”

“Ok.”

“Like what?”

“You decide.”

“No, you.”

“I don’t want to…”

6:05 PM

Silence

6:35 PM

“So… what do ya wanna do?”

“I said I didn’t care.”

Silence

7:40 PM

“I’m hungry. You wanna eat?”

“If you want to.”

“What do you feel like?”

“What ever, you decide.”

“I don’t care.”

“Me either.”

Silence

8:10 PM

“You still hungry?”

“I don’t know – are you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Wanna get a pizza?”

“Do you?”

Silence

8:35 PM

“Do you still want a pizza?”

“If you do.”

“Ok, order one.”

Yes! A break through!

“What kind do you want?”

“I don’t care. What do you want?”

Noooooooo!

“Hello, Dominos I would like to order a pizza for delivery…. Ummm, yeah we don’t know. Just a second…. Hunny, I have them on the phone. What do you want?”

“I don’t care. What ever you decide.”

“Yeah, Dominos – surprise us. Thirty five minutes, great.”

Silence

9:20 PM

“How was your pizza?”

“I don’t know how was your?”

“Wanna help me with the dishes?”

“If you want me too…”

Silence

10:00 PM

“Wanna go to bed?”

“If you want to.”

“Well, are you tired?”

“Are you?”

Silence

10:20 PM – in bed

“Are you asleep?”

“Are you?”

“What time do you want to get up tomorrow?”

“I don’t know when do you want to?”
Silence

10:30 PM

“Do you think we should paint the ceiling beige?”

I love my shower...

People ask me – “So, how is the new house?”

All I can say is “I love my shower.”

I really, really do. Not in an “I need therapy kinda way”. I just really love it. It was a really big fear for me prior to us moving in. What if I don’t like it? What if the shower head isn’t high enough? What if the water pressure sucks? What if the tile freaks me out? What if it is always cold?”

Rest assured though it is perfect. And it is all mine.

Come on over. Check out the new house. Sit on my couch. Eat my food. Hug my wife. I don’t really care…

Just don’t ask to use my shower.